Monday, August 9, 2010


I’m so depressed again I can’t even decide what notebook I should write in.

I can’t pick up my text books – I have to deal with this divorce shit. I’m honest getting ready to just say fuck you and fuck this – I can do this without you and on my own bitch.

He keeps sayin’ we’d just get remarried again like it’s a game – well it’s not. You walk away and that’s it you’re done – you lost.

I plan on doing what I can to make this work but I’m not going to do it all, grovel, or worship his every step or word. He can just kiss my ass as main course.

I am so tired of being beat up mentally it hurts… worse than any physical one ever could. The rhyme we once learned “sticks and stones…” is a lie, I can prove it just look at the rates of suicide. Fuck, my little boy is the only reason I’m still alive. I don’t cherish anyone else enough to make that kind of sacrifice for – back stabbin’ lyin’ mother fuckers think they somethin’ – and don’t give me your stats on ‘oh I’m family’ really- then where you been at? Do you know me? Know what my life’s been like since I had to leave my home in Hot Springs? Yeah sit your bitch ass down before I make it look like a clown.

Family is the people that are there for you even when you’re in the fucking wrong – they may not agree with you but they don’t abandon your ass! So count ‘em up – who’s yours?

I can count mine on one hand.

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