Before you Read my Writings...

I realize that you all have your opinions, reasons, etc. and YES I POSTED THIS ON THE INTERNET .. that's right I sure did... - but YOU have no idea when these were written or under what circumstances so do not even begin to assume that you know the whole story.

Preventative Measures

I’m an alcoholic pill poppin’ pharmaceutical addict
I’ll be the first to tell you I’ve got the gene of an addict

These pills I take the drinks I take
I’ll be the first to tell you I have a problem I can’t
Stay away

This Vicodin and alcohol consumes my all even when
It’s not in my system I’m operating with it on the agenda
Check out my house it’s like Walgreens pharmacy and
Your local liquor store having an open bar

Pop some pills wash it down with little to no skill
Of any alcohol you choose to sip and chill

I wait on these pills to kick in my bipolar is fuckin’
Flippin’ out and I’m about ready to take myself out
Again.

Super Power

I snap this Vicodin
I sip this coke
It’s my antidote
I sit back and
Wait for it to hit my stomach
Not caring if my body is
Suffering from it
I pop theses pills, I close my eyes
I see my son, I gaze at the sky

I’m not really here, I’m really gone
Mentally I’m just one more thing wrong
Muscle relaxers are my super star actors
My Vicodin is my super power but
Fuck it what happens after?

You Never Listened

Can you hear me? Did I say it
Loud enough? Was I clear?
Did you get the message?

It’s over I don’t care you’re
A memory - you’re not
Not worth a breath of air

Were you close by? Did I
Ever cross your mind? When
Did I fade out- am I still there?

Blinded and jaded – processed
Crossed out and faded
What do I have? Where am I at?

Mangled and defecated
Were you listening? Where
Was the dedication?

When I started this
It was something that
Had no ending – just a face

Suicide

I never stopped myself
Always pushed –
Swimming against the tides
Running from everything
You are.

The world never waited on
Me to stop
My eyes dilated
Like the first time
A child sees snow
Where – did life go?

Behind me they place me up
On a pedestal – stop wait
I’m going to fall
Honest, I don’t know it all
I’m just a child without a
Home

Love me – Touch me – Never let me go
Capture this heartless – empty soul
Forgive me, descend me – but
Don’t leave me here alone

Where did my life go?


On this bridge I sit
Drifting, tipping –
Off this cliff –
Here I go.

Straight Edged

Seeing and breathing
Please don’t stop
Believing
Hold my hand
Pray by my side
Don’t wait
Let me die

I’ll be around
Everywhere you look
I’ll be here…
Waiting on you

My heart you captured
With the shade of
Color in your eyes

My love you spared
My breath you took
Sentiment, resentment
Kissing me on the bridge

I’ll be around
Everywhere you look
I’ll be here
Waiting on you
I die, I fall
I wait – you never
Call
We weren’t together
You were never there
What was I waiting on?
You- despair
Don’t stop breathing
Let the air cease to
Exist
… One last kiss …

Don’t be scared
You know I’m there
Right where you
Never were

Standing still
Waiting on you
Like a straight
Edge curve

Hold my hand
Keep me still
As my breath
Fades like
Water into sand

I’ll be around
Everywhere you look
I’ll be right here
The place you never look

Some Mornings

I sit upon the darkness, looking past the eyes
of the lightness that crosses that sky’s path below. I
see in every direction, every destiny, every
magikal imaginary there is. Within this vision I see
myself on a path, one that is not familiar, but
foreign. I go down it with my eyes shut and
blinded. As I come to what I think is the end,
seems to be only the beginning as my eyes open
and I see the dawn streak inwardly – it was only a dream.